


You Were My Sweetest Downfall

by givemesumaurgravy



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Sonja/Even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesumaurgravy/pseuds/givemesumaurgravy
Summary: Every morning, Isak reads through the twenty or so pages of medical reports and articles about him and the ‘accident’, and then he’ll get to that final page that reads: “Don’t forget him, please,pleasedon’t forget him.” And below these words scribbled hastily in his own writing, is a picture of a young, lanky, blonde boy with piercing eyes and dimples smiling at him like he’s the best thing in the world.Under the picture are seven words that never cease to break Isak’s heart every morning all over again.“This is Even, and you love him.”





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot believe I'm here with another new fic. I just cannot stop. Send help pls.
> 
> Anyways, I have the first four full chapters finished already, so I'm going to try to keep ahead of myself on this one. 
> 
> This is an AU Evak spin on the Hallmark movie that I just love - Remember Sunday.
> 
> It's gonna be a very angsty ride so strap in!
> 
> (also this is only the prologue-teaser, so the first chapter will be up tomorrow evening!)

It starts with a folder. 

This folder, it’s not just any folder. 

It’s the folder Isak sees every morning, the first thing when he wakes up, only, he can never remember seeing it before. 

To Isak, each day is something completely brand new, not affected at all by the last, a completely clean slate. 

Each morning, Isak wakes up thinking it’s 2013 and that he’s about to roll out of bed, make himself some coffee, shower, and then head down to his office in downtown Stockholm where he will flirt mercilessly with the nurses and then get to work on the list of that day’s patients. 

But, it’s not 2013. 

Isak doesn’t even live in Stockholm anymore. 

And Isak hasn’t even stepped into a hospital in five years. 

So, that brings us back to the folder. 

Within the first few moments of waking up, Isak rolls over and his eyes will land on this folder that has “Read Me Every Morning” printed on it in big, black letters. 

Isak will stare at it for a moment, confused, but then his curiosity will get the better of him and he’ll reach for it and start rifling through it. 

That’s when he’ll realize that it’s not 2013, but in fact 2017. 

He’ll learn that he’s no longer in Stockholm, but actually back in Oslo where he grew up. 

He’ll read that he had an accident, a brain aneurysm in his hippocampus that destroyed his short term memory, so every night when he goes to sleep, his brain deletes his new memories from that day instead of consolidating them into long term ones like a normal brain. 

And every morning, he’s angry.

Angry at his brain for not functioning properly.

Angry at the world for having things like brain aneurysms.

But most of all, he’s angry at himself for not being able to remember the person that’s on the last page of the folder.

Every morning, Isak reads through the twenty or so pages of medical reports and articles about him and the ‘accident’, and then he’ll get to that final page that reads: “Don’t forget him, please, _please_ don’t forget him.” And below these words scribbled hastily in his own writing, is a picture of a young, lanky, blonde boy with piercing eyes and dimples smiling at him like he’s the best thing in the world.

Under the picture are seven words that never cease to break Isak’s heart every morning all over again.

“This is Even, and you love him.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> So this is like a flashback of sorts now. The prologue takes place about half way through the fic, so Isak and Even are not together. Yet.  
> I wanted to get in all the good meeting each other stuff, so… sue me :)
> 
> Also, I am American (drag), and I think that shows a lot in this fic. I don’t know if diner’s are a thing, or like, how some of these interactions happen in Norway so I have no idea if it’s authentic. Lemme know if I’m completely off base here! Otherwise, this is me asking for a little suspension of disbelief here and to just enjoy it!

**Chapter 1**  
Isak wakes up, rolls over, sees the folder, reads it and then proceeds to spend the next half an hour sitting in bed with his head in his hands.

_Why._

It’s the same question every morning.

_Why did this happen to me?_

Sometimes he’ll slip into a phase of self-loathing and self-pity, losing a whole day to his uncontrollable emotions.

Other days he’ll feel a little better than that and use the number taped to the inside of the folder with the words, “Please call me if you need to talk. ~Jonas”.

Those days are usually relatively good ones because Jonas knows what to say; he’s been doing this for five years now.

Today in particular, is a relatively good day.

Isak calls Jonas, who he remembers because they have been best friends since they were little, although he doesn’t remember any of the last five years of their friendship.

The first thing Isak says to Jonas is: “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Isak,” Jonas replies.

“I do. This…dealing with this, with me…it has to be hard,” Isak pauses. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Isak. It’s not your fault.” Jonas says in a calm voice.

“You didn’t have to stick around, you know. It has to be hard for you. Impossible even,” Isak wonders out loud.

“It’s not so bad,” Jonas offers, but Isak knows he’s not being one hundred percent truthful. “You’re my best friend. I wasn’t going to leave you to go through this alone,” Jonas says, and that time there’s nothing but honesty in his voice.

Isak looks around his apartment at the dozens of post-it notes everywhere in the form of notes and reminders to himself. The one closest to him reads: “Breakfast with Eskild at 9. Auntie Sue’s Bakery.”

“Jonas, I’m going to let you go. I have to meet with Eskild apparently. You know how he is when we keep him waiting,” Isak says with an eye roll and Jonas chuckles.

“I’m glad it’s a good day for you, Isak,” Jonas says and then adds, “Call me if you need anything. I’m just a short tram ride away.”

“Of course, Jonas. See you,” Isak responds and hangs up, getting out of bed and padding over to the bathroom to take a shower.

**~*~*~**

Even’s late, _again._ It’s not his fault really; his stupid car wouldn’t start again. Maybe because he has yet to deal with that blinking light on his dash in a more serious way than slapping a Hello Kitty sticker over it, but…anyways. 

Even runs up to the diner, freshly baked scones warm in the tin he’s carrying and he throws on his best smile as he approaches Ruben, who’s standing outside, setting up the umbrellas for the outdoor tables. 

“You’re late,” Ruben says, matter-of-factly, but there’s only half the anger in his voice than there really should be. 

“I know, ‘m sorry, Burt died again – I’ll get him fixed soon, I promise,” Even rushes and Ruben nods, but Even knows he doesn’t believe him.

“That’s what you said last week, Even, you know. Just get in there and get started on the omelets, please,” Ruben says, ushering Even inside. 

Even’s phone buzzes in his back pocket and he pulls it out to see Sonja’s name lighting up on the screen. Even bites his lip and contemplates answering it until Ruben comes up behind him and peeks at the phone in his hand.

“Don’t even think about it,” Ruben says. 

“What if she’s calling to apologize for last night?” Even says, but even as part of him is hopeful, part of him knows it’s wrong and he shouldn’t.

“They’re always sorry, Even. Don’t do this again. At some point you have to stop doing this to yourself,” Ruben says softly, hand coming up to Even’s shoulder, fingers digging in.

Even sighs and grips his phone tighter, forcing himself to close his eyes and ignore the buzzing until it runs to voicemail and he can tuck his phone back into his pocket without another thought. 

He still thinks about Sonja, though, itches to listen to the voicemail he hopes is waiting for him, hopes that Sonja will at least sound semi-sincere as she apologizes for blowing Even off, again, and leaving him alone on yet another Saturday night. 

When Even does finally take out his phone when he sneaks off to the bathroom, there’s no such voicemail waiting for him. Not even a text.   
**~*~*~**

Isak sits at a small table in a diner (he thinks) he’s never been in before. The walls are lined with framed photographs and pictures of smiling people sitting in the vinyl booths, arms around each other. Isak notices there are fresh scones on the counter and he smiles as he pulls his small recorder pen out of his messenger bag. 

“It’s just before ten and I’m at Auntie Sue’s Bakery waiting for Eskild. Nice place, clean, bright. There are fresh scones on the counter, blueberry, I think. They bring a nice touch to the place. Make a note to remember this place,” Isak says, speaking directly to the recorder. 

Isak makes eye contact with a tall, lanky waiter who is standing next to his table. Isak smiles to match the one already on the other boy’s face, and he worries for a moment that he’s supposed to know this person.

“Chocolate chip, actually,” The waiter says, eyes sparkling.

Isak quirks his eyebrow and the waiter’s smile broadens and he points to the container of scones on the counter. 

“The scones are chocolate chip,” The waiter clarifies and Isak nods, comprehension dawning on him. “What can I get you?”

“Just coffee for now, please. Little milk, no sugar. I’m waiting on my friend,” Isak explains and the waiter nods before tucking his pen and pad back into the front of his apron and heading to the back to fix Isak’s coffee. 

As Isak watches the waiter walk away, he turns his recorder on again and speaks into it clearly, “Yeah, Auntie Sue’s. Definitely make note to come back.”

**~*~*~**

Even lets himself into his flat that he shares with his roommate Mikael and drops his keys into the dish by the door. He shrugs off his coat as he walks into the flat, setting the empty scone tin on the counter. 

Even notices a stack of mail with his name on the first couple envelopes – more bills. He pauses, dread settling in his stomach. He can’t handle more bills right now. 

He opens the first one and groans. Another notice that he’s behind on his school payments. Even sits at the kitchen table and opens the other two bills. More late notices and big numbers. 

He’s not sure how long he sits there, but Mikael comes home and notices Even sitting there staring at the papers with his head in his hands. 

“How much?” Mikael asks after a moment’s pause in the doorway to the kitchen. 

“Too much,” Even mumbles, straightening up and gathering his papers. “I can’t even get up on my feet there’s so much.”

“Give me a number, Even,” Mikael says, moving to a drawer in the kitchen, opening it, and pulling out his checkbook and a pen.

Even stares at Mikael for a moment, eyes squinted, returning Mikael’s firm yet soft glare. Finally Even sighs and gives in, tapping his papers as he scans them one last time, mentally doing the math.

“For everything, I’m looking at roughly twenty thousand,” Even mumbles. “But you can’t seriously think you’re—“

Mikael cuts him off by tearing a check from the small book and clicking his pen with finality. Mikael hands over the check and smiles at Even. 

“Take it, Even. You need it more than I do,” Mikael says softly. 

Even stares at the offer and sucks his lips into his mouth. He looks from the check to Mikael face and back. Mikael gives the check a small shake and stretches it closer to Even. 

“I’ll pay you back as soon as I can, I promise,” Even says, taking the check quickly and slipping his wallet out and stashing the check in it. “That money from my uncle is supposed to come in any day.”

“I know you will, Even. I’m not worried about that. I just want you to get your head above water,” Mikael says, hand resting on Even’s shoulder. 

~*~*~

Isak sets his kettle on the stove and then reaches up on his tiptoes to snag a mug from the cabinet. He sets the mug on the counter and wanders back into the living room, following the sound of his own voice coming through his computer as the program transcribes his recorder notes from today.

Just as he reaches his desk, a new voice floats to his ears, startling him. He pauses, watching the words appear on the computer screen as the deep, familiar voice continues. 

“I’m never done anything like this, but, um, I just wanted to thank you, erm, for noticing the scones. You seem like a nice guy. Well, have a nice day, ah, a nice life. Oh, my name’s Even by the way.”

Even. The waiter from the diner has a name. _Even._

Isak pauses the transcribing and just feels for a moment. He feels excited, a jittery warmth dancing in the pit of his stomach as he catches his bottom lip between his teeth, grinning. 

But then he remembers that he’s not going to remember this feeling – it’s not something he’s going to be able to hold onto. He frowns and seriously contemplates deleting the transcription Even left. 

The teakettle whistles from the kitchen, startling Isak. Isak starts up the transcription again and then he rushes into the kitchen and fixes his tea. 

Isak forces himself not to think about Even for the rest of the night, knowing that when he wakes up in the morning, he’s not going to remember his bright smile, his floppy blonde hair or the sweet, deep way his voice tickles Isak’s ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like the beginning and build up so far! 
> 
> drop some questions, comments, predictions in the comments section!
> 
> <3


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter 2! :)
> 
> Chapter 3 is coming soon!

**Chapter 2**

Isak works at a jewelry shop. It’s nothing special, just a little mom and pop store where locals come to pawn old trinkets or come to get something special touched up. He really only got the job because the owners’ are family friends. 

Everyday there is new for Isak, since he started the job after the accident. He doesn’t do more than help customers and check up on inventory, so there’s not much to re-learn. He has a list of reminders and steps to take everyday so it’s easy to pick up on. 

Isak is just wiping down the front counter when the front door chime rings. Isak looks up to see a young looking man walking in, longish blonde hair combed back in a quiff. 

The man walks up to the counter, mouth set in a firm line, determination clear on his face as he pulls out a watch from his pocket. 

“Oh, hi,” The man says, recognition dawning on his features when his eyes land on Isak. 

Isak stares for a moment a bit apprehensively, wondering if he’s supposed to know this person.

“Even,” He says, pointing to himself, but nothing clicks for Isak. “I waited on you yesterday? At the bakery?”

“Oh, right,” Isak says, even though he has not recollection of the event.

“Anyway, I’d like to sell this, please,” Even says, placing the watch on the counter. 

Isak nods and picks the watch up examining it by holding it up to his eyes and looking at the face of the watch, then the back. 

“It’s a Rolex. Supposed to have been really expensive, but I’ll take whatever you can offer me,” Even says, tucking his fingers in his front pockets. 

“Actually, I’m sorry to tell you, but the watch is fake,” Isak says, thumb brushing over the engravement on the back. 

“What?” Even says, face falling and left hand coming up to his face. 

“Yeah, see this engraved part here?” Isak says, showing him the back of the watch. 

“Yeah?” Even says, looking where a little heart had been carved into the back with an E and S. 

Isak ducks behind the counter for a moment, rummaging through the display until he finds what he’s looking for. 

“On the real deal, you’ll see the Rolex emblem right on the top there, on yours, it’s not there,” Isak says, flipping both watches to show Even. 

“Oh,” Even says, looking a little defeated. 

“Also, if you hold them, you can really feel a difference,” Isak says, handing both gently to Even.

Even weighs the watches in his hands, face falling even more. 

“Figures,” Even mutters, handing the watches back. 

Isak tries not to feel too sorry that he can’t help Even, but he does look very upset. It’s then that Isak notices the pendant dangling around Even’s neck. 

“May I?” Isak says, gesturing to the pendant and it takes a moment before Even connects what he’s asking for. 

“Oh, yeah,” Even says, reaching up to lift the necklace from around his neck. “It was my uncle’s.”

“This is beautiful,” Isak says, admiring the gold wings with small crystals encrusted into it.

“Four hundred krone,” Even says, expression firm.

Isak looks at him quizzically, unable to believe he’s willing to part with something that he seemed attached to a moment ago. 

“I can’t buy it from you for that,” Isak says, turning to move to the cash register and unlocking it. 

“It has to be worth at least that,” Even says. 

Isak pulls out a stack of bills, counts them, and then closes the register. He walks back to Even and hands him the full stack. 

Even stares at him for a moment, not moving.

“Six thousand krone,” Isak says. 

“I can’t take that,” Even says, expression disbelieving.

“I can’t pay you any less,” Isak says. “Take it.”

“Thank you,” Even says, finally taking the money. “That’s very kind of you.”

“I’m not just being nice. It’s a beautiful piece,” Isak says, reaching for a jewelry envelope to put it in. 

“Have a nice day,” Even says, storing the money in his wallet and then giving a small wave before turning to leave. 

As Isak watches Even walk away, he pulls out a sharpie and writes ‘Save for Even’ on the outside of the envelope before sliding the necklace in. 

**~*~*~**

Even knows it’s cheesy, knows he should maybe just not, but then he remembers Isak’s smile and he knows… deep down he _knows_ he needs to do this. 

“So you’re seriously going to send that?” Mikael says, resting his forearms on the back of the armchair where Even’s currently sitting. 

“Yes,” Even says. “He’s… sweet. So much different than the others.”

“That’s what you say at the start every time,” Mikael says. “It’s always good in the beginning.”

Even doesn’t dignify that with a response and instead continues on with his sketch. 

**_Today vs. At the same time in a parallel universe_**

Below, Even’s sketched the scene in the jewelry shop today. In one frame, he’s drawn what happened - he thanked Isak and simply left. In the other frame, though, Even changed the speech bubble to show him asking Isak to coffee. 

Underneath the drawing, Even scrawled, _so how about it?_ and then added his number. 

“What if he’s crazy?” Mikael asks. “And here you are giving out your number to him?”

“He’s not crazy,” Even says, rolling his eyes. “He works in a jewelry shop.”

“Doesn’t mean a damn thing,” Mikael says, finally having enough and pushing off the chair to head into the kitchen. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

Even doesn’t give it another thought before he’s folding the paper and sticking it in an envelope. He scribbles the address of the shop on the outside and makes a mental note to remember to deliver it on his way to work in the morning. 

**~*~*~**

Isak meets up with Jonas after work the next day, envelope in hand as he waits for Jonas to show up. Isak runs over the message in his head, having memorized the image and words by now. 

“Hey, man,” Jonas says, pulling Isak in for a one-arm hug as soon as he sees him. “How’s it going?”

“Good, good,” Isak says, patting Jonas on the back.

Jonas watches Isak carefully, and Isak tries his best to not show that it irks him a little. Isak distracts himself by holding out the envelope and showing it to Jonas.

“What do you make of this?” Isak asks. 

Jonas takes the envelope and eyes Isak before opening it and pulling out the small piece of folded paper. He unfolds it and then looks at the image on it. 

“I think,” Jonas says after he takes a moment to examine the picture. “I think you should go for it.”

“Seriously?” Isak asks. “I don’t even know who this Even boy is!”

“He’s creative. Unique,” Jonas says, handing the picture back to Isak. “I’ll give him that.”

“Is it fair, though?” Isak asks softly. “For me to date him when I won’t be able to hold onto him when the next day comes?”

Jonas thinks about that for a moment, then says, “Only if you tell him.”

Isak tries not to scoff at that. “Do you seriously think he’ll stick around once I do?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Jonas says. “Look, if it’s not fair to him not to tell him.”

Isak rolls that thought around in his head and admires the plants in the corner of the cafe. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking that I really need to start living. I feel like my life has no meaning and I’m just going day to day with no real progress. Ever since this brain thing I’ve been on autopilot almost, just doing the same damn thing and not really gaining anything or any forward momentum.” Isak explains.

“I agree,” Jonas says. “Start with this Even guy.”

“Okay,” Isak says. “Yeah, okay. Why not?”

Isak stands up, pulling out his phone and typing in the number from the drawing. Jonas gives him a look, but Isak knows if he doesn’t do it right now, he’s going to lose his nerve. 

Isak holds his phone to his ear, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously as the line rings once, twice, three times, then a fourth. With each ring, Isak’s heart pounds faster. Then a warm, deep voice is filling his ears. 

“Hi, you’ve reached Even. Obviously I’m not able to answer right now. Leave me a message and I’ll ring you back! Have a good day!” 

“Um, hi, Even. It’s Isak. I got your… um, drawing. Thank you. That was… very sweet of you. Um, so… I think coffee would be great! Or you know, dinner. Dinner would be nice, too. How about Friday? At V. Pauls? Say nineteen hundred? I, um, yeah. Let me know I guess if that sounds good to you. Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Isak hangs up and immediately covers his face with his hands because he just sounded completely insane and way too formal. Isak falls back into his chair and refuses to look at Jonas, because he can practically hear his smirk and yep, he’s chuckling.

“Do not say a word,” Isak groans and Jonas just chuckles louder. 

**~*~*~**

That night, Isak sets his recorder up to transcribe his notes from the day. He’s just cleaning up and enjoying the sounds of the storm outside as he listens to his reminder about his date with Even on Friday. 

Just as the message finishes transcribing, a loud crash of thunder comes and the power goes out. 

Isak freezes, panicking for a moment as he’s plunged into complete darkness until the next strike of lightening comes. The power only stays out for fifteen seconds, and then it flashes back on. 

Isak doesn’t think anything of it and heads to his bedroom. Little does he know that his computer is flashing with a notification that his transcription has failed due to the power being lost, meaning, his reminder about his date with Even is lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we this fine evening?   
> I hope you enjoyed this new chapter and are getting ready for things to start picking up :)  
> Feel free to comment with predictions, feels, etc. if the spirit moves you.
> 
> (Also, Evak affair fic coming soon)  
> ((That means Isak is married to someone else, NOT that they're together and one of them cheats))


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with Chapter 3!
> 
> Next update will hopefully be next Sunday! (I'm going try to always update on Sundays... we shall see)

**Chapter 3**

It’s Friday, and Isak is busy re-watching _Narcos_ for the millionth time. He’s halfway through his bowl of popcorn when his phone rings. 

“Have you left yet?” Jonas says through the line, voice rushed. 

“What?” Isak says, popping more popcorn into his mouth.

“Your date?” Jonas says, a bit exasperated. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Isak says, anxiety swirling in his chest. “I haven’t been on a date in years.”

“Yes, I am well aware,” Jonas says. “Fuck, okay. I’m coming over.”

Before Isak can argue, Jonas has hung up, leaving Isak frozen on the couch with popcorn bits clinging to his hoodie. 

Ten minutes later, Jonas is knocking on the door and Isak manages to stand up and let him in. Jonas gives him a once over and rolls his eyes before pushing past him and heading straight into the bedroom.

“I seriously don’t know what you’re doing here,” Isak says, following Jonas. 

“You have a date with this Even guy tonight,” Jonas starts to explain as he rummages through Isak’s closet. “You met him at the diner and then at the jewelry shop. He sent you a drawing and asked you out for coffee. Then you called him and asked him out for dinner instead. Tonight.”

“Shit, what time?” Isak says, trying to get on board with this. 

“Seven,” Jonas says, finally pulling out a button down and nice pants. “Get dressed. It’s already five til.”

Isak strips out of his sweats and throws on the new clothes Jonas picked for him. Jonas ushers him to the bathroom next and helps him fix his hair into something resembling a nice hairstyle. He also makes Isak brush his teeth and spritz on some cologne. 

“There. Now go,” Jonas says, handing Isak his wallet and keys. “V. Paul’s.”

“Wish me luck!” Isak says, trying not to panic that he has no idea what this person even looks like. 

When he gets there, there’s a lady selling flowers outside and he makes the snap decision to buy some. He just hopes when he gets into the restaurant Even is still there, whoever he is. 

**~*~*~**

Even arrived at the restaurant a few minutes late, which is actually pretty record breaking for him since his car usually refuses to start and makes him at least fifteen minutes late on a good day. 

He admits that he’s a bit surprised that Isak isn’t there yet, but he goes to the table anyways and waits for him. He orders a water and after fifteen minutes of waiting, the waiter brings out complimentary bread. 

After another fifteen minutes, Even decides he’s been stood up and leaves.

As Even leaves, he tries not to think about how he should have known this would happen, with his luck and his shitty taste in men. He just really thought Isak was different. 

As Even gets into his car, his phone rings. He looks at the caller ID, half expecting it to be Isak, and he wants to vomit when he sees it’s Sonja.

Without giving it a second thought, Even answers the call.

“Don’t call me again. Lose my number, please. I’m done with people that don’t know how to treat people with common decency. Have a nice life,” Even practically shouts, tears stinging his eyes and then he hangs up. 

**~*~*~**

Isak’s too late.

As soon as he walks in and gives his name, the hostess tells him his date left five minutes ago. 

Isak calls Jonas as he head back outside. 

“He’s gone,” Isak says as soon as Jonas picks up, not even giving him a chance to say anything.

“What now?” Jonas asks.

“I don’t… I don’t know,” Isak asks, leaning against his car in the lot. 

“He left his phone number on that drawing. I’ll see if I can find it here,” Jonas says and Isak can hear shuffling on the other end.

“Are you still at my apartment?” Isak asks. 

“Um, yeah,” Jonas says. “I wanted to be here when you got back so I could hear all about it.”

“Right and you’re totally not waiting there to hit on my hot neighbor,” Isak says. 

“How do you remember _that_ and not, I don’t know, anything else?” Jonas says annoyedly. 

“It’s in my notes, Jonas,” Isak says. 

“Aha!” Jonas exclaims at almost the same time. “Even better, Isak. I have his address.”

“Text it to me,” Isak says before he can change his mind and gets into his car. 

**~*~*~**

The address Jonas sent takes Isak to a nice looking apartment complex on the other side of town. It’s fancy, and Isak wonders what exactly this Even guy does that he can afford to live in such a nice place. 

Isak parks his car and then heads inside, nerves bubbling in his chest. He carries the flowers with him, hoping they will somehow bring him some confidence. 

Isak finds the elevator and rides it up to the sixth floor. He counts the seconds as he waits for the doors to close and then open again. He walks out the elevator, searching for apartment 606.

When he finds it, he knocks and opens the door when he hears the call of _‘it’s open’._

And honestly, the thought that Even might have a male roommate never even crossed Isak’s mind.

“I’m so sorry,” Isak says, the moment he steps into the apartment. “Long story, but I definitely have a good explanation for missing our date. These are… these are for you.”

Isak offers the flowers to the man with dark hair that’s standing there staring at him.

“Is this… some kind of joke?” The man says, still eying Isak warily and not making any move to take the flowers. 

“Even, I’m sorry-” Isak tries again and that gets a different reaction from the man.

“I’m not Even,” He says and Isak’s mind starts reeling.

“Um, I know that, I’m just, uh… practicing?” Isak says. 

“What are you doing here?” 

It’s a new voice, but something about it makes Isak’s heart jump. Isak turns and he can’t help but smile when his eyes land on the beautiful, tall, blonde man standing in the doorway now.

“Even,” Isak says, testing the waters before he starts his whole apology again.

“Isak, what are you doing here?” Even asks again, setting his keys down and shrugging off his coat. 

“These… these are for you,” Isak says, handing the flowers to Even. “I’m really sorry I missed our date.”

“Yeah, well, me, too,” Even says, taking the flowers and putting them in a vase. 

“If… if you give me a second chance, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Isak says. “Think about it. You have my number.”

With that, Isak turns and leaves, knowing when he’s overstayed his welcome. He heads back to the elevator, ignoring the faint, _“Even, don’t even think about it”_ he can hear coming from the apartment.

He’s just stepping into the elevator when he hears that sweet voice again, saying, “Isak, wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwahaha I love cliff hangers! anyone else? no? ;)
> 
> chapter 4 is done, but like I said, I'm going to try to update on Sundays, as that will give me more time to get ahead with the coming chapters. (I'm also working on, like, three other fics and starting work next week so... I love the pain)
> 
> encouragement helps! :D
> 
> until next time <3


	5. Chaper 4

**Chapter 4**

“Isak wait,” Even calls and Isak throws his hand in front of the closing door, stopping the elevator. 

Even half-jogs down the hall and stops in front of Isak. It’s clear from the expression on his face that he hasn’t fully decided to forgive Isak yet, but he’s standing here which means he’s willing to give him a shot. 

“I’m starving,” Even says. 

Isak laughs lightly at that, grinning at Even. 

“What do you suggest we do about that?” Isak asks. 

“There’s a really good kebab place just down the street,” Even says, stepping into the elevator. “You can pay.”

“Okay,” Isak says and presses the G button the elevator. 

“Okay,” Even agrees, staring forward as the doors close and the elevator begins to move. 

**~*~*~**

It’s funny how, to Isak, Even is a complete and total stranger, yet the conversation between them flows so easily. It’s like he’s known Even his whole life, not just for the past twenty minutes. 

They bought their kebabs at the shop and then started walking down the street by the river, stopping to sit on a bench. 

“Have you lived in Oslo long?” Even asks, taking a bite from his fork.

“Yes and no,” Isak says. “I grew up here, but I lived in Stockholm for a while. I moved back here about five years ago.”

Even nods. “Why the move back?”

“It’s… complicated,” Isak says. “Short story is I wanted to be closer to family.”

“I see,” Even says, not prying. “What were you doing in Stockholm?” 

“I was a doctor. Surgeon, actually,” Isak says. 

“Woah, that’s… impressive,” Even says. “Why are you working at the jewelry shop then?”

“Things change,” Isak says, looking down because he knows that’s not an answer. “What about you?”

“I also grew up here. Haven’t really lived anywhere else,” Even says. “I know this is kind of silly, but I want to open my own bakery. I’m waiting on some money to come through from my uncle, inheritance stuff, but my cousin is blocking it. I should have had it months ago. It’s like… I feel like I’m just stalling my life waiting for this money so I can finally get moving on my dream. It’s… silly I know.”

“No, I think it’s great that you know what you want to do,” Isak says. “Sometimes you have to fight to make your dreams work.”

Even smiles sweetly at Isak and then looks down at his food. “That’s why I’m taking business classes at night. I want to make this bakery work.”

“I hope you do,” Isak says. 

After they finish eating, they walk along the water for a bit in a comfortable silence. Isak wants desperately to take Even’s hand, but he doesn’t want to push his luck.

Eventually, Even says, “You know, Sunday’s I get off around two at the diner.”

“Oh?” Isak says, a bit slow on the uptake. 

“So, if someone wanted to try again on the whole date thing, I’d be available,” Even elaborates and it finally clicks for Isak.

“Ah, yes,” Isak says, grabbing Even’s wrist so he stops walking. “Even, would you like to go out with me on Sunday?”

Even smiles, and looks down. “I’ll have to check my schedule.”

Isak laughs, rolling his eyes and Even laughs, too. 

“No really, I’d love to,” Even says. “Call me with the details later?”

Isak nods, realizing they’ve made it back to Even’s apartment now. 

“Good night, Isak,” Even says, waving before dashing up the steps to his apartment complex. 

**~*~*~**

When Isak gets home, he holds his recorder to his mouth and says, “You had a date with Even Bech Næsheim tonight. It was wonderful.” Isak pauses, guilt clenching around his heart. “Find a way to keep him.”

**~*~*~**

_“I feel like I’m just stalling my life waiting for this money so I can finally get moving on my dream.”_

“You recorded him?” Lea asks, watching Isak apprehensively. 

“What else am I supposed to do?” Isak says. “I would have no idea about him if I didn’t. If I’m going to date him, which apparently I am, he’s going to say stuff and expect me to remember it!”

“You need to tell him,” Lea says. “It’s not fair for him that you’re recording him on every date and that he doesn’t know about… all this.”

Lea gestures around the apartment to the dozens of post-its and the recorder. Isak frowns, knowing she’s right, but unable to admit it out loud.

“I can’t explain how I know this, but I think I really like him,” Isak says. “That’s crazy, right?”

“Love works in strange ways,” Lea says, smiling at Isak. “Are you ready for your doctor’s appointment?”

 

Lea stands up, rubbing her hands down her pants. She looks at Isak as if to say she’s done with this conversation now and is ready to go. 

Isak nods and gets ready to head out.

**~*~*~**

Since his accident, Isak’s sister Lea has been helping him get back to a place where he was able to function on his own. She’s the one who set up the recorder system and put together the folder he sees every morning. 

Lea also accompanies him on all of this doctor’s appointments, as she is the ‘expert’ on his case now.

Dr. Lisbon has been Isak’s doctor since the accident. He performed the original surgery to try and repair what happened, and has been monitoring Isak closely ever since. 

Isak and Lea are sitting in Dr. Lisbon’s office for his monthly check-up. 

“Any changes, Isak?” Dr. Lisbon asks after the usual courtesies. 

Isak looks to Lea, who shakes her head, as she’s actually able to remember his day to day. “Seems like that’s a no.”

“How about the headaches?” Dr. Lisbon asks. 

“About two a day,” Isak says. “According to my notes.”

“That’s to be expected,” Dr. Lisbon says. “I’ll obviously need to know if they get more severe or more common.”

“I… I can’t do this anymore,” Isak says after a moment. “I… it’s nothing against either of you. Lea, you’ve set up such a great system for me and Dr. Lisbon you’ve done everything you can, but I just can’t live like this. I have no continuity and I can’t… I can’t move forward. There’s no new in my life because every time I have something new I lose it when I sleep and I need… I need new. Please doc there has to be something. There has to be something you can do to fix me. Please. Please fix me.”

Dr. Lisbon looks helplessly at Isak, slowly shaking his head. “Isak, you know there’s nothing I can do. We’ve tried everything.”

“That’s… that’s not good enough,” Isak says, looking down at his lap. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I’m just… I’m tired of this.”

Lea reaches over and grabs Isak’s hand, holding it tightly. 

“I’ll keep doing research, but with the bundle of neurons in your hippocampus, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack to try and figure out where the problem is. It’s incredibly dangerous without having more information,” Dr. Lisbon says, and Isak nods, because this he knows, this is in his notes that he reads every day. “I wish there was more I could do for you, Isak.” 

“Yeah, me, too,” Isak says, and though he knows it’s rude, he gets up and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, spread some love in the comments if the spirit moves you.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _(Affair fic coming September 2nd!)_


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next day when Isak wakes up, all of the frustration and anger from the previous day is gone, and he has to start all over again. 

Even wakes up, spends the thirty minutes or so digesting the contents of ‘The Folder’ and then calls Lea. 

“Glad to hear your voice so chipper this morning,” Lea says. 

“I have a note here to apologize to you?” Isak says, eyebrows knitted together. 

Lea laughs and then says, “It’s fine, Issy. Nothing to worry about.”

“What am I apologizing for, exactly?” Isak asks. 

“Like I said, it’s nothing,” Lea says, and Isak can tell she’s just trying to get him to not press it. “We just… we had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and it… it was hard for you and you walked out.”

Isak doesn’t say anything for a moment, just processing. “Dr. Lisbon just said the same old stuff? The same things that are already in my folder?”

“Er, yeah,” Lea sighs. “That’s why I wasn’t even going to bring it up, but… you’re just a good person.”

“Um, so another reason I called…” Isak says, taking a deep breath. “I have… a date? Today?”

“Oh! Yes!” Lea says, excitement clear in her voice. “He’s delightful! Well, I haven’t exactly met him or anything, but you recorded your first date and he sounds brilliant.”

“I _recorded_ him?” Isak says, a bit taken aback.

“My reaction exactly,” Lea laughs. “You did it so you would remember things that he’s told you. The file should be in your transcriptions. His name is Even, by the way.”

Isak nods and gets out of bed in search of his laptop. Isak pulls up his transcriptions and sure enough, he has a folder saved _Even Dates._

“Found it,” Isak says. “Do you happen to know where we’re going? It’s not in my notes.”

“I don’t think you had anything set yet,” Lea says. “Oh my God! You should take him to the new roller rink! Lars took me last week and it was _divine.”_

“Divine? A roller rink?” Isak laughs, shocked. 

“You know what I mean! It was so fun!” Lea says. “You really should consider it.”

“Well, since it’s coming so highly recommended…” Isak teases and Lea squeals.

“Yes! Well, I must go now, the baby’s crying. Do let me know how it goes, though!” Lea says, rushed. 

“Will do, baby, sis. Love you,” Isak says and waits for her to rush out her good-bye, too, before hanging up.

Isak does some research on the roller rink, deciding that it does look fun before going to shower. According to his notes, he’s supposed to pick Even up at the address on the post-it at 15.00, so that gives him plenty time to get ready and relax for a while. 

**~*~*~**

Isak is apprehensive, to put it lightly, when he reaches the address from his notes. He has no idea what this Even looks like, no idea what he should expect. 

But at the same time… at the same time, he can’t help but feel like there’s something special about Even. 

Which is crazy… right?

Isak takes a few deep breaths and then texts the number in his phone saved under Even’s name. _I’m outside. Come down when you’re ready._

Isak waits for a full ten minutes before an, admittedly beautiful, lanky, blonde boy comes bustling to his car, cheeks flushed and fingers running through hair. The boy grins brightly and waves when he makes eye contact with Isak through the windshield and Isak lets out a long breath. 

_Fuck, he’s handsome._

Even gets in the car and smiles even brighter at Isak. “Hi! How are you?”

_Fuck, his voice is so deep and sexy._

“Good, how are you?” Isak asks back, his nerves melting.

“Great. Where are we going?” Even asks, moving to get his seatbelt on.

“It’s a surprise,” Isak says and puts the car in drive.

**~*~*~**

The funny thing about Even is that he’s got giraffe legs. On solid ground, he looks like a runway model, all legs and smooth gait, but put those same long legs on roller skates spinning around a rink with dozens of other people and flashing lights, and you have a quite different story.

Isak is admittedly not the greatest skater, but Even… Even is awful.

Yet he won’t stop smiling the entire time.

“I feel like a mermaid turned person trying to walk,” Even muses as he nearly loses his footing again, clutching onto Isak’s arm. 

Isak just grins at Even and holds him steady. Even lasts for almost a full minute before he takes a turn a bit too quickly and they’re both tumbling to the ground. 

“Break for food?” Isak asks as he carefully gets up and helps Even to his feet.

“Yes, please,” Even says, slightly breathless from the fall. 

They carefully make their way to the upper area where they buy some greasy pizza and sodas. Isak pays. 

Once they’re seated and gorging themselves on their food, they talk about little things, like the hectic morning Even had at work and what Isak likes about living back in Oslo (though Isak relies heavily on past memories from when he was younger). 

They’re finished eating with Dancing Queen comes on, an old American song that Even recognizes immediately, by the shining look on his face. 

“We have to go back out there,” Even says, standing up abruptly and taking Isak’s hand. 

Isak laughs in surprise, and lets Even lead him out the the roller rink. Even doesn’t let go of Isak’s hand as they join the crowd of people skating around. Even sings along to the song in English, though he’s off key, but the singing seems to be helping him actually keep his balance. 

 

As the song his finishing up, Even turns to Isak and grins. They share a small moment, smiling brightly at each other and just taking each other in. 

“We should take a selfie,” Even says, ending the moment and slipping his phone out of his pocket. 

Isak nods and skates a little closer to Even after rounding a corner. Even pulls up the camera app on his phone, and they wait until they’re on a straight away before he holds it out and presses in as close as possible to Isak. They both grin wildly at the camera as Even snaps a few quick pictures. 

When Even puts his phone away again, Isak thinks with a twinge of guilt and sadness that he wishes so much that he could hold onto this warm, excited feeling he’s having right now, but knows he can’t.

**~*~*~**

As they drive home, Even scrolls through the nearly dozen selfies he snapped of them back at the rink. Even makes noises of approval as he does, and stops to show Isak one he particularly likes. 

“I’m texting you this one so you can have it, too,” Even says and taps on his phone as he does just that. 

Isak can’t help but be especially grateful as he’ll finally have something tangible to hold onto to remind him of what Even looks like. 

They stop driving when they reach Isak’s building, Isak saying, “Well, this is me.”

“Lovely building,” Even says, once they both get out of the car and then he’s stepping closer to Isak. “I had a really nice time today.”

“Me, too,” Isak says, eyelids fluttering as Even leans in even closer and then it’s happening. 

Even’s lips are even softer than Isak had thought, warm and insistent against his own. Isak kisses him back, pressing their bodies together as he wraps his arms around Even’s waist, Even’s arms around Isak’s neck.

It’s the best first kiss Isak can ever remember.

But he’s not going to remember this one.

Isak breaks away first, licking his lips and ducking his gaze shyly. Even reaches up and tilts Isak’s face back up with his finger. 

“You’re beautiful, Isak,” Even says. 

Isak blushes, shy, and mumbles, “You’re quite beautiful yourself.”

“You know,” Even says, voice slow and deep. “I’ve always wanted to see the inside of this building. The outside looks so old and well-preserved, the inside must be equally as beautiful.”

Isak blinks at Even for a moment, Even’s expression the picture of innocence, but his eyes tell a different, more sultry story. It clicks then that Even is trying to invite himself up to Isak’s apartment, which instantly sends panic through Isak as flashes of the dozens of post-it reminders and transcribing equipment flood his mind.

“Oh, um, no. Um, I think we should call it a night actually. I… I’m pretty tired,” Isak stutters out, knowing he’s sounding flustered and crazy because Even looks startled suddenly.

“Oh, okay…?” Even says. 

“Yeah, so… I’ll call you,” Isak says. “Good night, Even.”

Isak raises up to press a soft kiss to Even’s cheek, then turns and heads inside, leaving Even standing on the sidewalk without turning back. 

**~*~*~**

When Even gets home later that night, Mikael is sitting in the living room reading and looks up as soon as Even enters the room.

“How’d it go?” Mikael asks, and Even sighs, sitting down next to him.

“It was really fun, but… it got a little… weird at the end,” Even says, twisting his fingers together.

“Weird how?” Mikael asks, turning to fully face Even, closing his book and setting it on the table.

“I… um, tried to suggest, you know, going up to his apartment, and he got… he got really weird about it and shut it down immediately. It was like… like he really didn’t want me in his apartment,” Even explains, shaking his head.

“Maybe he’s married,” Mikael says, half joking, but with Even’s track record, Even knows Mikael is also offering it as a serious suggestion.

“I thought as my friend you’re supposed to make me feel better, not worse,” Even retorts, crossing his arms grumpily. 

“I’m sorry,” Mikael says. “But… it wouldn’t be too surprising if he was.”

Even fixes Mikael with a look, and then gets up and leaves the room. He’s mad at Mikael for even suggesting it - Isak is a great guy. There’s no way he’d be the kind of person to cheat on a wife. 

But at the same time… Even can’t help but wonder if he’s reading Isak all wrong and Mikael’s the one who’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol @ the part about 'Isak wouldn't cheat on his wife'  
> (it's funny because I'm also writing an affair fic where Isak does just that)
> 
> aaanyway. See all you lovelies next Sunday!  
> (until then, you can check out my new fic for daily updates if you need some lovely angsty evak to hold you over)


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Lea comes over the next day after Isak calls her in a panic. It’s nothing new, so Lea is used to dropping everything and being there for her brother when he needs her. 

They’re sitting in Isak’s living room, well, Lea is. Isak is pacing. 

“I can’t keep doing this!” Isak practically shouts, frustration getting the better of him. “I could I let this happen?”

“You really like him,” Lea says softly. “Did you read everything you have on him?”

“I did! I just… it’s so not fair,” Isak says, slumping down in his armchair and groaning. “I can’t date someone who has no idea that every day I see him, I have no recollection of ever meeting him.”

“It’s fair if you tell him,” Lea says, and Isak glares at her like she’s grown an extra head. “It’s okay if you tell him and let him make the decision for himself if he wants to keep seeing you.”

Lea stands up, picking up the kettle and making her way to the kitchen, but not before passing by the window and peeking outside. Lea stops and Isak watches her, noticing that she seems to have seen something that’s caught her interest. 

“Hey, isn’t that him?” Lea says, pointing out the window.

Isak stands up, brows furrowed as he walks to the window. Isak peeks outside, eyes following to the sidewalk where Lea is pointing and sure enough, there is Even, walking down the sidewalk outside Isak’s apartment.

“Now’s your chance,” Lea says, turning to Isak. “Looks like he’s coming up.”

Isak watches in disbelief as Even heads under the front entrance awning and presumably into the building. The scene floods Isak with panic, and he looks around the apartment at all of the notes and reminders posted everywhere. 

“He can’t see all of this!” Isak says, panicked. “He’s not in my notes! I’m not supposed to see him today!”

“It’s okay, Isak. I’ll help. Let’s just get the ones in here. Don’t let him in any other rooms,” Lea says, already picking off the post-its on the wall.

Isak rolls his eyes at the ‘other rooms’ comment, knowing his sister meant the bedroom. Isak unplugs his transcribing equipment and shoves it in a drawer then helps Lea with the reminder notes. 

“You need to go. You can’t be here when he comes,” Isak says. “Go, go.”

Lea rolls her eyes now, but she grabs her coat and purse from the couch and lets herself out. Not even twenty seconds later, there’s a knock on the door. 

Isak takes a deep breath and then walks to the door. Isak takes another breath with his hand on the doorknob before turning it and swinging the door open. 

“Hi,” Even says, smile bright. 

“Hi,” Isak replies, trying to match Even’s smile, but failing.

“I just… I wanted to come by and see you. I had a really good time yesterday. I just… I have a few questions, if that’s okay.”

Isak nods, licking his lips and stepping aside for Even to enter the room. They walk into the living room and settle on the couch. Isak tries to relax, but he can’t. He’s so close to getting busted and he just wants the chance to come clean on his own terms. He just isn’t ready yet. 

So, instead of taking his chance to come clean, Isak allows the conversation to take a turn to his work. Even notices a Medical Journal on the coffee table and starts asking Isak about it, after noticing Isak’s name mentioned on the cover. 

They spend the next twenty minutes with Isak explaining his old research on fetal heart surgeries. Isak loses himself in it because it’s so _easy._ He knows this stuff, doesn’t have to worry about slipping up for once. 

It’s over all too soon, though, as Even’s phone rings and he jumps up with a curse. 

“Shit. Uh, I… gotta go,” Even says, looking frantic. “I’m going to be late for my business class.”

“No problem,” Isak says, standing up and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll… see you later, though, yeah?” Even says, looking at Isak hopefully.

“Of course. I’ll call you,” Isak says, and walks Even to the door. 

They pause, watching each other with shy smiles before Even reaches for Isak’s hands and holds them, rubbing his thumbs over Isak’s knuckles. Isak bites his lip and looks to Even, and he can’t really explain it, but it’s like… it’s like his heart can remember Even, even if his brain can’t. 

Isak tilts his chin up, silently asking for a kiss and Even leans down, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. Even though Isak can’t remember ever kissing Even, it feels familiar. 

Even pulls away first, grinning brightly before giving Isak one final peck. Even opens the door then, slipping out without anything more in good-bye and he leaves Isak positively breathless. 

**~*~*~**

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Isak says, looking out the window of Jonas’ apartment. “It’s like… it’s like I can remember him, even though it’s medically impossible.”

“What do you mean?” Jonas asks. 

“I… I go over all my notes every morning and at the end of each day I feel the same,” Isak says. “I think I love him.”

“That’s… crazy though, right?” Jonas says carefully and Isak looks at him, desperately trying to make him understand. 

“I can’t explain it! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just… I think this could work,” Isak says. 

“Isak… “ Jonas says, looking at him seriously, and Isak already knows what he’s going to say, so braces himself. “It’s only going to work if you come clean.”

“I know. And I will,” Isak says, nodding. “I just… I need to figure out how to do it.”

“Sooner’s better than later,” Jonas says. “You know that, bro.”

“I know,” Isak says. “I know.”

**~*~*~**

Even is at his night class when Isak finally calls him. He gets Even’s voicemail, but little does he know, Even forgot his phone and Mikael’s at home. 

Mikael notices the message as soon as it comes through, and he picks Even’s phone up, looking at it a moment before he makes up his mind. 

Mikael unlocks the phone, goes to Even’s voicemails and presses play. 

_“Hi, Even. It’s Isak. I want to explain why I’ve been asking so weird. I really like you and I think you deserve to hear the truth. I’ll be at the park tomorrow afternoon at fifteen. I hope to see you there.”_

The message ends and Mikael stares down at the phone for a moment before the taps the delete button and removes the call and voicemail from Even’s call log.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little short this week, but next week will be longer and definitely angst-filled ;)
> 
> Predictions for what will happen next? 
> 
> Sending love and happy vibes as we start another week <3


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It’s 14.50 and Isak is at the park sitting on a bench waiting for Even. Isak half expected to hear back from Even yesterday, get some kind of confirmation, but he didn’t. He figures Even is just busy and that he will be there anyways. 

The park is crowded today. There are children feeding ducks by the pond, couples walking hand and hand, and girls running together. With every person that passes Isak, he quickly looks up, heart racing, hoping it’s Even.

But it isn’t.

By 15.10, Isak starts to worry that Even isn’t going to come. Maybe he never got the message? Maybe… maybe he doesn’t _want_ to come meet Isak. Maybe… something happened.

Isak puts his head in his hands and tries to stop all the crazy thoughts from getting further out of control. 

_This is crazy,_ Isak thinks. _I’m letting myself get worked up about someone I can’t even remember ever meeting._

But still… underneath all the confusion this morning about his ‘date’ with this boy he doesn’t think he knows, part of him just _knows_ that Even is special and he needs to do everything he can to make this work - no matter how crazy it all seems. 

By 15.30, Even hasn’t shown up and Isak decides to wait just ten more minutes and then he’ll head home. 

The ten minutes pass by agonizingly slow, but when Isak’s phone tells him it’s 15.40, he sighs and stands up, stretching slowly before starting to walk back home. 

**~*~*~**

Even gets home from his shift at 14.50 and is making lunch for himself in the kitchen when Mikael comes in, looking guilty. 

“Hey, E,” Mikael says. “How was your shift?”

“Fine,” Even says, pouring himself some juice.

“I… I have a confession to make,” Mikael says. 

Even looks at Mikael, eyebrows raised. “Look, bro, I know you’re just looking out for me, but I really like Isak. I think he’s actually a genuine person.”

Mikael nods, looking down at his feet. “Yesterday, you left your phone here when you were at your class and… Isak called you.”

Even knits his eyebrows together, confused. “I didn’t see a notification about it when I got home, though?”

“Right, because… I, um. I deleted it,” Mikael says. 

Mikael doesn’t look up, so he misses the way Even’s face changes to one of anger, nostrils flaring. “You _what?”_

“I deleted it,” Mikael says, finally looking up. “He… he called to ask you to meet him today. He said he wanted to explain why he was acting so sketchy…”

“You _talked_ to him?!” Even shouts, voice seeped in anger and betrayal. “What the fuck, Mikael?”

“I… I didn’t talk to him. I just… I listened to the voicemail he left,” Mikael admits, looking down at his feet again.

Even pulls his phone out to check his messages, but he doesn’t see a voicemail from Isak.

“I deleted it,” Mikael says, voice small.

“Seriously, what the _fuck,_ Mikael,” Even says, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I know you like to stick your nose in my relationships ‘to protect me’ or whatever, but this is too extreme.”

“I just don’t trust him,” Mikael says. “You’re too good for this, for all of these shitty relationships, Even! You have got to have higher self-worth than this, to just keep letting assholes use you.”

Even’s eyes narrow at Mikael, but he doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head after a moment. Mikael watches Even carefully, waiting for him to say something.

“Would you rather I be alone and unhappy than putting myself out there and trying? Isak’s a good guy and I finally feel happy and safe with him,” Even says quietly, not meeting Mikael’s gaze.

They’re quiet for a while, until Even speaks again.  
“Did he… did he say what time he wanted to met me?” Even asks, voice quiet. 

“Even… you can’t honestly…” Mikael tries, but Even cuts him off, voice more firm now.

“What time, Mikael?” 

“Fifteen,” Mikael says with a sigh. “At the park across town.”

Even looks at the clock and groans. “Fuck, I’ll never get there with any chance of him still being there.”

“I’m sorry, E,” Mikael tries, but Even just shakes his head at him. 

“Don’t,” Even says, pushing past him to exit the apartment. 

**~*~*~**

Isak is cleaning up from his dinner when his doorbell rings. He’s confused, as he doesn’t think he should be expecting anyone, and by the looks of it, there’s quite the storm raging outside. 

Isak sets down the pan he was cleaning and makes his way through his apartment to the front door. He looks through the peephole and inhales sharply when he sees Even standing there, or at least, someone resembling the picture he has telling him as much.

The doorbell rings again, so Isak sighs and then opens the door, steeling himself for what he knows is probably going to be an awkward conversation. 

As soon as the door opens, Even steps inside, drenched, and toes off his shoes, apologizing multiple times. 

“Shit, I’m sorry to just, like, show up. It was pouring outside and… I’m sorry. I’m getting your floor all wet,” Even says. 

“It’s fine,” Isak says. “Let me get you a towel.”

Isak disappears into the bathroom and grabs one of his clean towels, bringing it back out into the living room and hands it to Even. Even nods his thanks and wraps himself in it after shedding his outer layer and hanging it up on one of the hooks by the door. 

“I’m glad you’re here actually,” Isak says, leading Even into the living room. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“I know,” Even says, carefully sitting down on the couch, towel wrapped around his waist. “I’m sorry I didn’t meet you earlier. I didn’t get your message until it was too late.”

“It’s okay,” Isak says. “I can just tell you now what I wanted to say earlier.”

Even looks at Isak patiently, waiting for him to speak. Isak licks his lips and takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. Having Even here so close to him has an immediate, inexplicable affect on him and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it.

“There’s a… there’s a reason that I’ve been… strange,” Isak says. “Like when I didn’t want you to come up to my apartment the other day…”

Even nods, biting his bottom lip before saying, “Look, if you’re like, married or… or dating someone else…”

Isak scoffs, laughing at the ridiculousness of that. Even frowns, and Isak quickly calms and reassures him. 

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Isak says. “I’m single. Definitely single.”

“Oh,” Even says, looking down at his lap. 

“I mean…” Isak says, rubbing his hand over his face. “I… guess I’m not totally single. I’m seeing you, aren’t I?”

Even smiles, looking back up at Isak then and nods. 

“I just… I have a hard time… remembering… things…” Isak tries, but Even’s standing up, walking over to Isak and taking his hand, pulling Isak up from his seat. 

“I don’t care about anything that’s happened before us,” Even says softly, smiling warmly at Isak. “All I care about is us right here, right now.”

Isak smiles, but he’s feeling panic build inside him at not being understood. He wants to hold onto this, to the way Even’s smiling at him, the warmth he feels under Even’s gaze, the sense of safety and love he feels with Even holding his hand and breathing his air. 

“I want to keep this,” Isak says, almost to himself. “I need to hold onto this.”

“You have me, Isak,” Even says. “I’m right here.”

Isak is about to try and explain again, try to get Even to understand, but then Even’s kissing him, soft and sweet. Isak kisses Even back, wrapping his arms around him tightly like he never wants to let him go.

They’re quickly interrupted though, as Isak’s recorder in his pocket begins to beep, notifying him that it’s battery is low.

Even pulls back, brow furrowed. “What’s that?”

“Um,” Isak says, thoughtlessly pulling out the recorder. 

Even’s eyes widen and he stares at the device in Isak’s hand in disbelief. “You’re… _recording_ us? Recording _me?”_

“It’s… it’s not what you think!” Isak says, grabbing for Even as he steps out of Isak’s reach. “I’ve been trying to explain-”

“Are there cameras in here, too?” Even asks, panic in his voice. “This is… this is _weird,_ Isak.”

“Let me… let me explain,” Isak tries, but Even just shakes his head. 

“Don’t bother,” Even says and then turns on his heel and marches out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next Sunday!   
> <3


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm no doctor and have zero experience with anything brain-surgery related. Just a heads up for something that is discussed in this chapter :)

**Chapter 8**

When Even gets to work the next day, he’s already in a terrible mood, and it only gets worse the moment he gets there. 

“Even, can I talk to you?” Ruben asks as Even comes through the door. 

Even’s heart starts racing, as he usually doesn’t get called to talk to the boss right when he first arrives at work. Ruben waits for Even in the back, and Even hurries to met him.

“Everything alright?” Even asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

“Not really,” Ruben says. “Look, Even, there’s no good way to say this…”

Even shifts nervously on his feet, knowing whatever is about to come out of Ruben’s mouth, it’s not going to be good news. 

“I have to let you go,” Ruben says. “It’s nothing against you. To be honest, I’m selling the diner and I’m giving all staff a two week’s notice.”

“Oh,” Even says dumbly. “I… I really needed this job…”

“I know, Even. That’s why I hate doing this,” Ruben says. “Look, I can give you a loan of sorts, help keep you on your feet…”

Even shakes his head, “I’ll… I’ll figure something out. It’s okay.”

Ruben nods, but Even knows he doesn’t fully believe him. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

Even nods and then excuses himself to get started on his work for the day, mind swirling so much he can hardly focus. 

**~*~*~**

When Even gets home from work that day, he is utterly exhausted and in an admittedly really pissy mood. He’s frustrated about losing his job, but on top of it, he’s really fucked things up with Isak, and he knows that it’s mostly his fault. He should have stayed and let Isak explain, but instead he let his gut reaction get the best of him, let his snap judgment think the worst in Isak because Even’s always been treated shitty in relationships. 

Even walks into the kitchen, opening himself a beer before sitting down at the counter, where he notices an official-looking envelope with his name on it. 

Even frowns, not recognizing it and prays it’s not another bill to pile up on him. Even tears it open, and nearly falls out of his chair in shock when he realizes what it is. 

His check finally came. He can finally open his bakery. 

**~*~*~**

It’s sort of funny that the moment Even saw the check, he immediately got the urge to call Isak and tell him. For the rest of the night, Even couldn’t shake the feeling that he needs to share this exciting news with Isak, so by the next morning, when he still feels the same, he decides to go over and try to work things out with him.

Even walks into Isak’s building, going over what he wants to say in his head as he climbs the stairs. As Even reaches Isak’s floor, he stops when he sees a woman walking out of Isak’s apartment. 

When she turns, she notices Even there and smiles warmly at him. Even just stands there, pretty much frozen as dozens of thoughts run through his head. 

“Hi,” The woman says. “This may seem weird, but are you Even?”

Even narrows his eyes at her, even more confused, but he nods. 

“I’m Lea,” the woman says, gesturing to herself. “Isak’s sister.”

Oh. 

Even’s breath leaves him in a relieved rush, and he reaches his hand out to Lea to shake. 

“Even,” Even says, even though she already knows that. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I didn’t think Isak was expecting you today…” Lea starts to say. “It’s… it’s probably not a good time to just drop in on him.”

“Is he sick or something?” Even asks, confused as to why it wouldn’t be a ‘good time to just drop in’. 

“He hasn’t told you yet?” Lea asks, eyebrows knitting together.

“Told me what?” Even asks.

“Why don’t we go for a walk?” Lea asks, gesturing down the stairs and Even nods. 

**~*~*~**

“It’s not really my place, but I figure Isak’s been struggling with how to tell you and since he’s not going to get the opportunity to tell you for some time now, I should just explain it for him. He has a hard time with explaining everything anyway,” Lea says as they walk through the park by Isak’s apartment.

“What exactly is going on?” Even asks. 

“Isak had a brain aneurysm five years ago and it destroyed his short term memory,” Lea says slowly, but Even can tell it’s practised, like she’s said it dozens of times before. 

“Like amnesia?” Even asks and Lea pauses before shaking her head.

“Not exactly. All of his old memories are still in tact. He just can’t make any new memories,” Lea says. 

“Woah,” Even says. “How… um. How does he…”

“Does he function?” Lea says, and Even nods, grateful that she understood his question without him having to ask.

“Lots of procedures and supports put into place,” Lea says. “Every night when he goes to sleep, his brain erases everything from the day before. In the beginning, he tried to just not sleep so he could hold onto things, but that ended him in the hospital again. He had to quit his surgeon job and that was so hard for him. He’s gotten better, but there are still some really dark days.”

“That’s… this is so… I feel awful,” Even admits. “I freaked out on him the last time we saw each other.”

“I know,” Lea says. “He called me and told me what happened.”

“He… does he use the recorder to help him… remember things?” Even asks, remembering with a guilty feeling the reason for his freak out. 

Lea nods. “He records memos throughout the day or important events that happen that he then transcribes on his computer so he can look back if he ever needs to. He’s not a perfect system, but it’s been working.”

Even nods, and they fall into a comfortable silence as Even turns over all of this new information in his head. Then he remembers something Lea said right when they first started walking. 

“You said that Isak won’t have the opportunity to explain this all to me for a while… what did you mean by that?” Even asks. 

“Um, Isak’s having a procedure done and he’s going to be in the hospital for a few weeks,” Lea explains carefully.

“Is he… is he going to be okay?” Even asks, suddenly worried. 

“He should be fine,” Lea nods reassuringly. “His doctor just wants to go in and remove some scar tissue from his first procedure that’s been causing him to have headaches.”

“Are they… are they going to be able to help his memory?” Even asks, biting his lip.

Lea shakes her head, looking up at the clouds. “They haven’t been able to find a way to fix it. It’s really delicate, the area in his brain where he has damage and the doctors are too nervous to try anything that could cause more damage than good without having any research backing them up. Isak’s condition is extremely rare.”

Even nods, mind swirling around with all of this information. One thought keeps coming to the forefront of his mind, though. 

“Can I… can I see him?” Even asks. 

Lea looks at Even for a moment, like she’s trying to evaluate if that’s a good idea or not. 

“I suppose so, yeah,” Lea says. “I can bring you there when he’s done with the operation and is there for observation.”

“I would love that. I really want to see him,” Even says. 

“You’ve been good for him,” Lea says after a beat. “As crazy as it’s been, it’s been good.”

Even smiles and they fall into a comfortable silence again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wah.
> 
> I feel so weird not writing Isak in this chapter! He makes a return next chapter, though! 
> 
> Until next Sunday!


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

When Isak wakes up, he’s disoriented, as usual. 

He looks around the room, assessing his surroundings and comes to the confident conclusion that he is in a hospital. 

Which, isn’t so strange. He’s a doctor, afterall, and he’s definitely been known to fall asleep at work from time to time, it’s just… not usually in an actual hospital bed. 

Isak looks around more, and realizes that this hospital is not familiar - he’s not at his place of work. He doesn’t think he’s actually been in this place before. 

Obviously, this then leads Isak to think he’s had some sort of accident, so he begins to panic a bit. Isak starts to assess his body, checking for injuries or anything that’s wrong. 

It’s when Isak reaches up to touch his head that he feels the soft, sterile feeling of gauze and determines that he has had some sort of brain injury or operation.

It’s just that… he can’t remember what happened. 

Isak’s about to call for help when Lea comes in. 

“Oh! You’re awake,” Lea says, looking surprised. “We weren’t expecting that for another day.”

“What happened?” Isak asks, voice rough from lack of use. 

“Um,” Lea says and she moves to a chair in the corner and starts rifling through her bag. “It’s probably best if you just… read about it.”

Lea hands Isak a folder with the words ‘Read Me Every Morning’ in big black letters. Isak’s brow furrows in confusion, and he looks up at Lea, but she just nods towards the folder encouragingly. 

So Isak reads. Isak reads and Isak learns about his aneurysm from years ago and how he’s unable to make new memories. Isak reads about how he’s back in Oslo and how for the past five years, he’s pretty much had no momentum in his life, just the few friends he keeps in contact with and the regular day to day goings on he’s been able to uphold. 

Isak also reads the new addition about the operation he’s just had to help alleviate his apparently constant migraines. 

“Wow,” Isak says finally, closing the folder and laying his head back against the pillow.

“It’s a lot to take in, I know,” Lea says softly, moving over to Isak and gently sitting down the edge of his bed. “There’s more, if you’re willing to hear it.”

Isak looks at Lea and almost shakes his head, but instead he nods, and Lea hands him a small box. Lea doesn’t say anything, just nods again for Isak to open it. 

Isak lifts the cover off the small box and peers inside. There, on a bed of white fluff is a small recorder pen. Isak is confused again, but Lea just smiles. 

“Listen to it,” Lea says and Isak licks his lips before pressing play. 

“Hi, Isak. I’m Even,” A deep voice says through the recorder and the sound of the voice stirs something deep in Isak, but he can’t quite place it. “You don’t remember me, but we were dating, but we had a bit of an argument before you had this operation and we haven’t been able to make up. I wanted to apologize for you for jumping to conclusions and not letting you explain everything to me on your own terms and in your own time. I talked with Lea, though, and I feel like I know you better now. I really, really like you Isak, and I hope you feel the same way.”

Isak stares at the recorder in his hands as silence fills the room. Isak has no idea who this Even person is, has no recollection of their argument or anything that Even mentioned, and yet… somehow his voice feels… familiar. 

Isak jolts when he hears someone else enter the room. Isak looks up, expecting a doctor or nurse, but instead he sees a tall, handsome young man with blonde hair and striking features. 

“I’m Even, that’s my voice on the recorder,” The man says and Isak continues to just stare at him.

“I’m going to leave you two to talk,” Lea says quietly, slipping off the bed and excusing herself. 

“I… I don’t understand,” Isak says as Even approaches the bed, smiling shyly.

“That’s okay,” Even says. “Can I… can I sit?”

Isak nods and Even sits gingerly on the very edge of the bed. Even picks up a corner of one of Isak’s blankets and begins nervously fidgeting with it. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t remember you,” Isak says carefully, voice confused and a little sad. 

“That’s okay,” Even says. “I knew you wouldn’t. Lea’s told me everything now.”

“We were… dating?” Isak asks, wondering how that would be possible when Isak can’t remember new people day to day. 

“We were,” Even nods. “You recorded our dates and kept information on me in your file so you’d be able to keep track of bits and pieces when we had plans to see each other.”

“But you didn’t… you didn’t know about… all this?” Isak asks slowly and Even shakes his head. 

“You tried to tell me, the last time we saw each other, actually,” Even says tone serious. “I jumped to conclusions though before you could explain everything and I freaked out a bit.”

“Oh,” Isak mumbles, not knowing what to say. 

“I’m good now, though, Isak. I want to be with you, if that’s what you want, too,” Even says, reaching for Isak. “Lea explained to me that you’ve been frustrated with not having anything stable or continuous in your life. There’s no forward momentum. We can make this work. It’s going to be hard, but I want to try. I want to make us work.”

Isak watches Even as he pours his heart out, his expression nothing but earnest and sincere. Isak licks his lips and takes a moment to think everything over, but then he nods. 

“It’s impossible and crazy, but… but I feel like I do sort of remember you, like on some level. Your voice… when I heard your voice on the recorder I felt something. And then seeing you now… I can’t explain it. It’s like… it’s like my heart remembers you even if my brain doesn’t,” Isak says, watching Even carefully as he speaks. 

Even’s face breaks into a grin and then he’s flinging forward and wrapping his arms around Isak, but he freezes after a moment.

“Shit, sorry!” Even says. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“I’m fine, Even,” Isak laughs. 

“That you are,” Even says, flicking his eyebrows cheekily. 

Isak rolls his eyes, and Even just grins at him dopily. They just smile at each other for a few moments, soaking each other in, holding each other’s hands. 

“I’m finally taking control of things in my life. I definitely want you to be a part of that. I want to go on a trip with you,” Even says. “Lea and I have worked it out and have everything planned.”

“I don’t know how I feel about you being in cahoots with my sister,” Isak teases and Even just laughs him off. 

“No need to worry. You’ll like this,” Even says. “Trust me.”

“Okay,” Isak says. “Do I get to know where we’re going?”

“Nope,” Even grins. “It’s a surprise.”

Isak looks at Even, eyes narrowed, but Even just grins at him. Then Even’s leaning in and pressing his lips softly to Isak’s, and Isak immediately melts into it. 

Isak can’t be certain if he’s kissed Even before, but he knows that, from the moment their lips meet, he never wants to forget the feeling Even gives him, safe and warm and so cared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well well well. Aren't we happy? The question is, is it going to last? ;)
> 
> see you next week! <3


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Turns out, Even’s surprise is taking Isak back to Stockholm. 

Even says he wants to see Isak’s old life, to learn more about him when he was his happiest. He also doesn’t admit this part out loud, but he wonders if going back will help Isak somehow, help him come to terms with everything.

Isak is quiet when he realizes where they’re going, and he still doesn’t say much as they pull up outside the hospital where he used to work. 

“We’re here,” Even says, squeezing Isak’s hand. 

Isak doesn’t say anything, just stares at the tall building with a pained expression on his face. 

“Isak, talk to me,” Even says, facing Isak and reaching for his face to turn Isak to look at him.

“I can’t go in there,” Isak says quietly, gaze turned down to his lap.

“What?” Even says. “I thought… I thought you’d be excited to see your old friends…”

“I can’t go in there because it’s the last place I remember. It’s the first place I see when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep,” Isak explains. “It… it happened… there.”

“Oh,” Even says softly, realization dawning on him. “You… when you wake up every morning, do you… do you think you’re still here? Still working here?”

Isak nods and Even inhales deeply. 

“I’m going in,” Even says. “I think it’ll be good for you. I know it’s hard, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for you. It’s up to you if you want to come with me or not.”

Even gives Isak’s hand one more squeeze and then gets out of the car. Isak sits there for a moment, watching Even walk up to the front entrance until he decides he needs to do this, rip off the metaphorical band-aid. 

Isak gets out of the car and hurries to catch up with Even. Even turns and grins when he hears Isak approaching and immediately offers his hand to him.

They then proceed to spend the next four hours there. 

Isak is in his element, that’s immediately obvious to Even. It only takes a few minutes before something comes over Isak and it’s like he’s back working there, back where he feels most comfortable and it’s clear to Even that this was a good idea. 

Isak sees some of his old co-workers and they greet him enthusiastically, like no time has passed. They update Isak on his research that they have continued on, telling him that they would not be nearly as far along with it had they not had Isak guiding them in the beginning. 

It’s after seeing his co-workers and saying good-bye to them that Isak starts to get a little fidgety. Even notices, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Isak’s friends invite him to go see the lab, and Even encourages him to go, saying he’ll go find some food for them. 

They part ways, and Even ventures off in search of the cafeteria. When Even finds it, he gets in line to order some lunch for himself and Isak. 

“Excuse me, this is completely strange, I know, but are you Even?” 

Even turns and sees a handsome man standing in front of him in a white lab coat, the name _Dr. Dahl_ embroidered into the chest. 

“Um, yes?” Even says.

“I’m Julian,” The man says, holding out his hand. “Do you have a minute?”

Even nods and follows Julian to a table. Julian sits and motions for Even to do the same. Even watches Julian carefully, looking for some sort of hint as to why he knows him.

“I’m sorry this is so awkward,” Julian says. “I just… I had to meet you.”

“Did you… did you know Isak?” Even tries, guessing that was probably the connection.

Julian nods. “I heard he was back today with a handsome man. A friend of mine described you and then I just happened to see you in line and… I just couldn’t help myself.”

Even doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods and wait for Julian to explain more.

“Does he… has he mentioned me?” Julian asks quietly, looking down at the table as he speaks, then looks back up at Even.

Even’s brow furrows, and he shakes his head. Even’s heart starts racing, jumping to conclusions about what the history between Isak and Julian could possibly be. 

“That’s… probably for the best,” Julian says. “I wish… I wish in all of this he could have forgotten me. I wasn’t… I wasn’t good for him.”

Even must look really confused, because Julian smiles and nods, beginning to explain more in depth.

“Isak and I were together for two years before the accident. When it all happened, I tried to be there for him, but it was just too hard. I didn’t know how to support him while he went through losing his job and everything he loved doing. When Isak decided to go back to Oslo, I didn’t follow him. I was selfish. I just couldn’t stop thinking that if we ever got married and had kids, he would wake up every day not remembering it or them.”

Even has never been a particularly violent person, but he wants nothing more right now than to reach across the table and smack Julian right in the face. 

“I know it all sounds terrible and I hate myself for it, but…” Julian pauses, sighing and rubbing his temples. “I heard that he seems happy… with you. They told me you’re good for him.”

“I am,” Even says firmly. “I’m standing by him and helping him through all of this. It’s not easy, but I’m not going to just quit on him.”

Julian swallows and nods slowly. “I was a coward.”

It’s Even’s turn to nod now. “Look, thank you for telling me all of this, but I should get back to Isak now. I’m supposed to be getting us some lunch.”

“Okay,” Julian says. “I’m going to… lay low for the rest of the day. I think it’s for the best that he doesn’t run into me.”

“I would have to agree,” Even says. 

Even gets up then and goes back to the food line, mind spinning. 

**~*~*~**

Even doesn’t tell Isak about meeting Julian, he figures if Isak wants him to know about Julian, he’ll tell him when he’s ready. It has to be hard for him, waking up every morning thinking he’s still here in Stockholm, working at the hospital, dating Julian.

When they get back to Oslo, Even tells Isak he has one more surprise for him. Isak rolls his eyes, telling Even that this is all too much and he’s not really sure if he can take any more surprises. 

“It’s a good one,” Even says. “I think you’ll like it.”

Isak rolls his eyes again, but waits patiently for Even to tell him. 

“I’ve been doing my research,” Even says slowly, reaching into his backpack. “And I found a new surgery they’re doing in the UK to help with hippocampal damage in patients similar to you. It’s still in it’s trial phases, but I made some calls and they’d be interested in getting you in as a candidate for the trial.”

Even watches Isak carefully as he hands him the file documenting his research. Isak opens it, going full doctor mode as he looks through the articles and research. 

They’re both quiet for a long time, Isak reading and Even waiting patiently, holding his breath as long as he can. 

“This… this is amazing,” Isak breathes. “I can’t… thank you.”

“We’re in this together, Isak,” Even says. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Isak smiles, but it falters a bit.

“Even,” Isak says carefully, voice measured. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything,” Even says, taking Isak’s hands in his.

“If the surgery doesn’t work, I need to you erase yourself from my life,” Isak says and Even goes stiff, fighting the urge to pry his hands from Isak’s. “You deserve a better life than someone who wakes up every morning and doesn’t remember you.”

“I…” Even says ready to argue and fight him on this, but Isak shakes his head. 

“That’s the only way I’ll consent to the trial,” Isak says. ‘If you promise to leave and erase yourself from my life if it doesn’t work.”

Even stares at Isak, trying to gauge if arguing will help, but it looks like Isak is dead set on this. Even deflates a little, nodding. 

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh what's going to happen? :D
> 
> see you next week!


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hihi
> 
> sorry I'm so late with this chapter. It's been a busy two weeks. I'm here now though!   
> There are just two more chapters, which should be posted over the next couple weeks!

**Chapter 11**

 

When Isak gets back, Lea is there waiting for them, eager to see how the trip went. Isak is tired, he’s wired at the same time, high on Even and the prospect that this might just work. 

Even volunteers to help Lea in the kitchen as he begins whipping something up for dinner. Isak wants to get his transcriptions started, since he has a lot from today. 

Isak watches as his computer types up his recordings and re-reads his conversations from the day. As he reads his conversation with Even, he feels an overwhelming urge to just jump in and take a huge step in his relationship with Even. 

Isak opens up his Reminders and types in, right under buy milk: Ask Even to move in with me. 

**~*~*~**

“So how did he do, really?” Lea asks as she and Even step into the kitchen.

“He was great. It was a little overwhelming at first, but he handled it well and I think it was really good for him,” Even says. 

“That’s good,” Lea says. “I’m glad you guys went.”

“There’s also something I haven’t told you,” Even says. “I was so excited about it and only just found it, but…”

Even pulls out the brochure about the trial in the US and shows it to Lea. Lea takes it, her expression unreadable as she scans it. 

“Did you show this to Isak already?” Lea asks, voice tight.

“Yes, he said he’s in,” Even says excitedly. 

Lea doesn’t seem excited, too, though, so Even steps closer to her, looking at her with concern. 

“Why do you ask?” Even asks carefully.

“Even,” Lea says, sighing and rubbing her temple. “He’s already done this surgery. It didn’t work.”

“He’s… he’s already tried this?” Even asks, mind spinning.

“Yes, last year,” Lea says. “I didn’t keep it in his folder because he would just stress him out. I’m sorry I didn’t think to mention it to you because… I didn’t think you were looking into all this…”

“Wow, um,” Even says, rubbing his temple. “I don’t really know what to say.”

“It’s okay. There’s not really much you can say,” Lea says. “Don’t worry about about it. Isak won’t remember you bringing it up, we’ll just delete it from the transcription.”

Even stares at Lea for a moment, trying to process everything. Even shakes his head after a moment, and exits the kitchen.

Even walks into the living room, mind still spinning, but he puts on a brave face. Isak isn’t there, though, and his bedroom door is closed, so Even assumes he’s changing or unpacking. 

Even walks to the couch and just happens to glance at Isak’s computer, where his Reminders are open. Even’s heart drops to his stomach. 

Without giving it a second thought, Even walks over to the computer and deletes the words, _Ask Even to move in with me,_ right before Isak comes out of his room.

_~*~*~_

Three weeks pass, Even throws himself into his project of opening his bakery and Isak goes about his life, forgetting everything about Even, like he never even met him. 

Even did as Isak said, completely erased himself from Isak’s life like he promised. 

It’s surprising to Even how easy it is to move on, mostly because he’s completely giving himself to opening his bakery and it’s providing an excellent distraction. When it’s night time though, he can’t help the way Isak consumes his thoughts, all the ‘what-if’s of if he hadn’t cut himself out of Isak’s life. 

Once Even opens his shop, he feels great, but he knows something is missing. Deep down, Even knows he’d feel better if he could just _see_ Isak, just check in on him and make sure he’s okay. 

So, after work one day a week after the grand opening, Even gets in his car and drives to the jewelry shop where he hopes Isak still works. 

When Even enters the shop, he holds his breath as he searches for Isak. He doesn’t see him right away, but then he sees him, curly head popping up from behind the large glass counter. 

“Oh, hello,” Isak says, smiling warmly, but zero recognition on his face. 

“Hi,” Even says, making his way up to the counter. 

“How can I help you?” Isak asks, still smiling. 

“I’m Even,” Even says, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, waiting for some sort of recognition to hit Isak. 

But it doesn’t.

Even watches Isak as he seems to roll that name around in his head, and then something seems to click. 

“Even, did you say?” Isak asks and Even nods. “I know that name.”

Even’s heart starts to race and he’s about to open his mouth to explain when Isak turns around and walks into a back office. Even frowns, confused, but then Isak re-emerges. 

Isak steps back up to the counter and holds out a small jewelry envelope with the words _‘Save for Even’_ written in black sharpie. Even scrunches his eyebrows in confusion. 

“This is yours, yes?” Isak asks, smiling, but there’s still no recognition on his face.

Even takes the envelope and opens it. As the small pendant drops into Even’s hand, he gasps. 

“You… kept this?” Even asks, unable to process this. 

“Yes,” Isak says, though his expression changes after a moment. “Was I not supposed to?”

“You bought it from me,” Even says. “About six months ago.”

“Oh,” Isak says. “I’m sorry. I have… I have a bit of a condition. I can’t… I don’t remember what happened. I just saw the envelope on the shelf and when I heard your name, I figured you’d come to pick up your piece. I just assumed we were fixing it up for you.” 

“Well, thank you,” Even says.

Even doesn’t make a move to leave, so Isak speaks again. “Is there… is there something else I can do for you?”

“No,” Even says and pauses before adding. “You look well.”

Isak gives Even a curious look, but he nods. “I am well.”

“Good. That’s… good,” Even says. “Well, see you around, Isak.”

Isak gives Even a little wave, though there’s a little confusion there. Even turns to leave, sighing a little as he walks away from Isak, this time, thinking it’s for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. this is where the movie ends, but I’ve written an alternate ending that will be the next two chapters :D   
> Don’t worry, there’s a happy ending coming.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Six months later, Isak finds himself in the hospital again. 

This time, when Isak wakes up, it’s just like the previous time, he blinks awake, confused and trying to figure out why he’s here, in a seemingly unfamiliar place with a dull throbbing in his head. 

Isak’s eyes land on Lea, who smiles at him, teary eyed, and calls for the nurse. A nurse joins them, along with a doctor in blue scrubs. They all smile at him, but don’t give him any answers, just prompt him with questions.

“I need to ask you some questions,” The doctor says. “If that’s alright with you.”

Isak just nods, waiting for the questions to begin.The sooner he’s done here, the sooner he can go back to sleep, he thinks.

“Do you remember your name?” The doctor asks.

“My name is Isak Valtersen. I’m a surgeon. I grew up in Oslo, Norway. I’m…” Isak slows down, his brain throbbing as he tries to think of anything else. 

“Do you know how old you are?” The doctor says and Isak thinks, but shakes his head. “Do you know who’s here with you?”

“Yes. That’s Lea, my sister,” Isak says and then looks to the other two people with him. “And Jonas and Eva.”

Jonas and Eva smile at him warmly, hands holding each other tightly. Isak smiles back, or at least he tries to. He’s sure it comes off as more of a grimace. 

“That’s good, Isak,” The doctor says. “Do you know where you are?”

Isak shakes his head. The doctor nods slowly, turning to the nurse. The nurse hands him Isak’s file, and the doctor looks it over for a moment. 

“I can tell you anything about my childhood, where I grew up, my many years in school… I just… I can’t… I’m having trouble remembering… remembering the last few years. I think… oh God. Did I… did I have an accident?” Isak feels panic build up inside him as he looks around at the people in the room. “Why am I here, Dr. Olson?”

At that, everyone in the room freezes.

“Do you… do you remember him?” Lea asks. 

Isak looks at her with confusion clear on his face, but he nods. Lea’s face breaks out in a wide grin, fresh tears brimming in her eyes. 

“Holy fuck, it worked,” Lea says. 

“Now, don’t rush to conclusions, we still need to run some tests before he can say that with certainty,” Dr. Olson says, but he’s also grinning. 

“What’s going on?” Isak asks again.

“You had--” Lea starts to fill in, but Dr. Olson raises his hand, cutting her off. 

“See if he can tell us himself,” Dr. Olson says. “Try to think about yesterday, before your operation.”

Isak tries to think about what happened to him yesterday, but his brain hurts and he squeezes his eyes closed against the pain. 

“It’s okay, Isak. Take your time,” Dr. Olson says.

“I… I remember being in the car with Lea… I remember… I remember getting prepped for surgery… You… you were trying to fix… to fix my memory,” Isak says, and he looks up, hope in his eyes. “And it… worked?” 

“I don’t want to say anything for certain yet, we’ll have to get some scans when the swelling goes down to make sure we’ve cleared all the scar tissue, but so far, this is looking promising,” Dr. Olson says. “You’re a surgeon, too, Isak, so you understand how delicate this is, how damaging hope can be in situations like this.”

“I know,” Isak says, nodding. “Can I… can I see my file?” 

The nurse who’s holding the file again looks to Dr. Olson and he nods. The nurse hands over the file, and Isak spends the next thirty minutes learning everything he can about his case. Dr. Olson was right, and his case in particular is extremely delicate. 

At some point in his perusing, Lea joined him on the bed and Jonas and Eva had excused themselves in search of food. When Isak puts the file down, Lea hands him another blue file.

“In case you want a little more personal information from the last few years,” Lea says softly. 

“Did you make this for me?” Isak asks and Lea nods. “You’re too good, Lea. Thank you.”

“You would have this by your bed every morning,” Lea says. 

“I can’t imagine,” Isak starts, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine what it was like to wake up every morning not knowing… having to process this over and over…”

“It was hard, but you managed,” Lea says. 

“How did I… I was I able to go day to day? Like… how was I able to have anything continuous in my life?” Isak asks softly.

“You would record important conversations with people and make notes to yourself. You would transcribe everything every night and keep very meticulous and organized files on your computer. You had a system, and it worked for the most part,” Lea explains, smiling.

“Thank you for… everything. For sticking with me,” Isak says. “It can’t have been easy.”

Lea rolls her eyes, spitting image of Isak when he does so. Isak grins at her and she wraps her arms around him carefully, resting her head on his chest. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Lea whispers into Isak’s hospital gown. 

Isak pets a hand over her hair and they stay like that for awhile, until Jonas and Eva come back with food for them.

**~*~*~**

One month later, Isak is going back to a normal life. He’s still living in Oslo, but he’s working on getting his feet wet again, living a normal life where he actually remembers his day to day experiences. 

Isak applied for a job working at the hospital in Oslo, even though the hospital in Stockholm offered him his old position back. Isak decided it would be best to start a clean slate and begin anew. 

He also, though he’ll never admit it outloud, is nervous that he won’t be the same surgeon he once was, since it’s been years since he’s picked up a scalpel. 

As much as Isak loves his apartment, he also decides to move. That, and he needs to be closer to the hospital. As Isak is packing up his life, he finds a picture of a person he doesn’t recognize. 

The picture is of Isak and a taller, blonde man, both grinning stupidly at the camera, looking like they’re having the time of their lives in a colorfully lit, what Isak thinks is a roller rink. 

Isak frowns at the picture. The other man is very handsome, but try as he might, Isak has no idea who he is. 

Isak makes a mental note to ask Lea about him when he sees her tomorrow. 

After another hour or so of packing, Isak gets hungry, so he decides to go to the bakery down the street that he hadn’t tried yet. 

Isak grabs a coat and heads out, breathing in the crisp air and smiling at how much his life has changed. Isak walks into the bakery and makes his way to the counter. He’s the only one in line, and the man behind the counter is busy fixing a beverage for another customer waiting to the side, so Isak peruses the menu. 

Once Isak decides, he looks back at the man, who’s turned around and is facing him now, and Isak nearly falls over because, _that’s the name from the picture._

The man is staring at him, and Isak is staring back, until he decides he needs to say something. 

“Do… um, do we know each other?” Isak asks, but the man smiles back at him, head cocked. “I found this picture in my apartment of you, of… of us. That sounds creepy, but I feel like… like I _must_ know you. I’m Isak.”

“I’m Even,” He says, reaching over the counter to shake Isak’s outstretched hand. “We were good friends.”

Isak narrows his eyes at Even, sensing that Even’s not telling him the whole truth, but he accepts it anyways and rattles off his order. Even nods, then busies himself preparing the food and coffee.

Isak steps to the side, and watches Even as he works. As he does, one thought keeps pushing itself to the front of his mind.

So, when Even hands over Isak’s finished order, Isak says, “Do you want get coffee or something sometime?”

Even looks a bit caught off guard, so he pauses for a minute, then nods. “I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah second to last chapter!
> 
> Also, no idea how realistic any of this is, so just... pretend like surgical miracles like this are possible :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 13**

They decide to get coffee together after Even closes up in a hour and Isak promises he’ll be back then to pick Even up. 

Isak walks back to his flat and busies himself for an hour until he needs to go back for Even. Isak is jittery, excited to have something new and fun in his life. 

The hour drags on, but finally it’s time to go and meet Even. When Isak gets there, Even is just finishing cleaning up and grins brightly at him when he sees Isak enter the shop. 

Isak waits patiently as Even locks up and returns his warm smile when Even’s finally ready to go. 

“Sorry, that took a bit longer than anticipated,” Even says. 

“No worries,” Isak says. “The food and coffee I got earlier were delicious, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Even says. “I’m still only just getting into the swing of things, so it’s good to know I have satisfied customers.”

Isak slows his pace for a moment, turning to look at Even fully. “Do you… are you the owner?”

Even nods. “It took me way too long, but I finally managed to open the shop after some money came through from a relative.”

“I see. That’s really cool,” Isak says. 

“What are you doing now?” Even asks, as they pick up their original pace again. 

“I started working at a hospital here in Oslo,” Isak says. 

Even looks at Isak and smiles, eyebrows raised, but he doesn’t say anything more than “That’s awesome, Isak.”

They walk a bit further down the block until they reach a small hole in the wall coffee shop. They order and Even pays, Isk telling him he’s got the next time. 

They sit once they have their drinks and talk for hours. It’s becomes clearer to Isak the longer they talk, that there’s no way they were just friends. He just doesn’t know how or if he wants to mention it. 

As the shop begins to prepare for closing, Isak and Even head back out onto the street, hand in hand. Isak curls his fingers tighter around Even’s, squeezing Even’s hand and swinging their arms as they head back in the direction of Isak’s apartment. 

Isak tries to fight the smile trying to break its way onto his lips, but he fails and starts grinning. 

Even rubs his thumb over the inside of Isak’s wrist so Isak turns, head ducked to glance at Even and he notices that Even is fighting a smile of his own. 

They walk up the steps to Isak’s apartment in silence, hands still clinging to each other. When they get to Isak’s door, they stop, Isak not making a move for his keys, not yet. 

Isak stares up at Even, admiring the flush on his cheeks from the cold wind and the inviting red of his lips. Even’s watching him, too, eyes drinking in every aspect of his face until his eyes also land on his lips, and then he looks back up, meeting Isak’s gaze.

It’s quick, magnetic, almost, the way they’re both drawn in and Isak feels it all the way in his toes when their lips finally meet. 

It’s the best kiss of Isak’s entire life. 

Isak kisses Even with everything he has, pouring everything he’s feeling into it and he feels like Even is almost doing the same.

After a moment, Isak pulls back, Even’s fingers still petting over his cheeks and he says, breathless, “We were more than just friends, weren’t we?” 

Even pulls back, licking his lips, tears welling up in his eyes. 

“Even, answer me. Please,” Isak pleads, thumbs rubbing his cheeks. 

“We were in love,” Even breathes, voice low and quiet. 

“How could I not remember you?” Isak whispers, eyes drinking in Even’s face. “How could I not find some way to remember how beautiful you are? How wonderful you make me feel? How could I let go of you?”

“You tried, Iss. You tried so hard to make it work, but… look, let’s go inside, yeah?” Even says and Isak nods, finally fishing out his keys and opening the door. 

Even follows Isak inside and Isak closes the door, pulling Even to the couch and they settle in.

“None of this is your fault, Isak,” Even says. “After you came clean to me about your condition, we tried to make it work, and we were happy for a long time. Eventually, though, you made me promise that if there wasn’t a way for you to fix your memory, that I would erase myself from your life. You knew it wouldn’t be fair for us to stay together, to have a family some day and be together if there’s no chance of you remembering it day to day. I loved you so much that I agreed.”

Isak watches as tears well up in Even’s eyes, tears of his own threatening to spill over. Isak understands that Even has no idea that he’s fixed now, that he can finally make memories again, and honestly, he’s not sure how Even will take it, but he knows he can’t go on not telling him.

“Even, I…” Isak stars, voice shaky. “I had a new operation a few months ago and I… it worked. My memory’s fixed. I can… we can… ”

Isak stops speaking when he notices the look on Even’s face. It’s mostly unreadable, but it almost looks… disappointed. 

“I… fuck, Isak,” Even says, rubbing his hand down his face. “I… this is going to sound so shitty now. I only agreed to this because I knew you wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. I figured it would be safe to indulge myself for one day, knowing it would be like nothing happened tomorrow. And I know that sounds so twisted, but I just… God, Iss. I still love you so much. I don’t… I don’t know how to process this.”

“Are you… are you not happy about it?” Isak asks, holding his breath, and Even’s head whips up to look at Isak in the eyes. 

“Fuck, Isak, is that what you think?” Even says, exasperated. “I’m _so_ happy, Isak. You have no idea.”

Even takes both of Isak’s hands in his and squeezes them before bringing them to his mouth, pressing a loving kiss to his fingers. 

“We can start over. I get the chance to fall in love with you all over again, that is, if you want to try this,” Even says carefully.

Isak nods, enthusiastically, lifting up to press a kiss to Even’s lips. 

“We need to promise, though,” Isak says. “That we truly start new, even though there’s history.”

Even nods, brushing his fingertips over Isak’s cheek. “It’s not fair that I’m the only one to remember it. We can go slow.”

“Agreed,” Isak nods. 

“If you have questions, though, you can ask me,” Even says. “You know, about before.”

Isak thinks about it, and then shakes his head. “I don’t need to know. I want to know you now, who you are now. And who knows, maybe you won’t like me with memory.”

“No chance,” Even says and the sweeps Isak up in another kiss. 

And folks, that’s where our story ends. Isak and Even spend the next year or so working their way up to falling in love again and giving themselves to each other, but it’s beautiful and lovely and it’s absolutely everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are, lovelies! The end!
> 
> Thank you to all of you who were here from the beginning, and to all of you who joined in throughout this wonderful journey!
> 
> Let me know what you think of the ending :) 
> 
> Also let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas for future fics! I've got a few thoughts floating around, but I'm always open to new ideas!

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know what you think!   
> Like I said, the first four chapters are done, so get excited!
> 
> comment? yes please :)
> 
> come find me on tumblr: fy-faen-evak.tumblr.com :)


End file.
